Words of Mine ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Expectations There is no failure except in no longer trying. Expectations In program they tell you that expectations are premeditated resentments. I have found this to be true. Mostly I get into trouble when my expectations are unrealistic and people, places and things don�t turn out the way I wanted. For a time I gave up on expectations. Take for instance; I expect to have a good day. Thinking of it this way there�s a 50/50 chance of a good day taking place. However, if I plan to have a good day no matter what, then I shall have a good day. Expectancy I believe sets you up for failure and I, as a regular human being, am more likely to fail than to achieve. So I won�t go there. Take today for instance, I had to be up extra early to go in for lab tests to check out blood and urine things. This meant fasting for 12 hours. Granted I slept through approximately eight of those hours which make it easy. Early morning the traffic is light, I arrive on time and have little time to wait. Because of the fasting I had pre-made my breakfast the night before so I can eat once I arrive at work. Yet, I�m still a little shaky and irritable with no food. What I do wish was that I�d been asked to give my urine sample first. The expectation was to go in the small plastic cup but could I? Not on your life and I�m one who drinks at least 64 ounces of water a day, I�m a living water pump. But no, blood is taken first. I hate this part, the needles and blood. Because my expectation of being hurt I begin to breath faster and tense up. This is no good and I�m assured it will hurt because Michael has told me this. Instead I begin to do my breathing exercises and to think of what it feels like when a mosquito bites me. Uncomfortable and a squashed mosquito, hmm, I don�t believe the nurse would go for that. Any way, I look away, breathe and think of Michael. It really is only a little prick and the nurse was done before I knew it. Good thing too. Now for the expected urine specimen, would you believe I was in that bathroom for ten or more minutes? With the stress of giving blood all my other vital functions shut down and going to the bathroom was one of them. I sat for awhile, did breathing exercises for awhile, turned on the water, and even played Brick Attack on my cell phone. Nothing was encouraging me to let go of the fluid the nurse needed for testing. I was almost walked in on which doesn�t help the circumstances. After a while the waterworks began and I was able to leave a sample. I hope it was enough and the worst of it, as soon as I got to work I had to go to the bathroom. Grrr. Now this activity could be construed to ruin my whole day but actually it�s really a very funny story if you ask me. I chose to make this as something funny instead of just another way life gives me lemons. I believe instead of expectations it goes to positive thinking and not positive thinking that you�re going to have a bad day either. If you believe everything and I mean everything can be used to your advantage it�s all good. The only place I feel expectations are reasonable is that each day the sun will come up and each day it will set. Each day the ocean tides ebb and flow. These are reasonable and won�t disappoint you. Look for the good, be willing to consider other possibilities and don�t be invested in the eventual outcome.
mz. em 7:38 p.m. - Thursday, Oct. 02, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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